You've probably heard about this by now. If not here are the simple facts:
Monday, 30 January 2012
Christina Aguilera's Period.
You've probably heard about this by now. If not here are the simple facts:
Monday, 12 December 2011
Stand
This was written in September last year. It's more true now, so I'm posting it again.
I want to stand.
To replace reaction with action
To move without trigger, my fuse already lit
I want to stop knowing things
And start knowing something
My present likes the drifting
But my future creaks and rots
I want to stand
I want to make absurd, ridiculous promises
And keep them
And make you amazing, like I should be
I want to feel what you feel
And take up arms for it
Your Protector
I want to stand
I want to tell you I'm worth more than what you see
I want to tell myself I'm worth more than what I see
I want to tell you you're worth more than what I see
I want to know most things have more value than I could ever imagine
Stop sampling imitations of real things
And eat them whole
And then lick the sugar off my lips
And then bake them in my oven
And give them away, anonymously
In little scarlet parcels
I want to dance on the wind, not drift on the breeze
Be amazing enough that you want all of me
Be beautiful enough that I want all of you
But what I want and what I do are so separate
That all I can do is sit down
And think about how separate they are
And so I'm sitting on my dreams, carried by the ebb and flow of familiarity
Thinking the aimless wandering is who I am, what I need, what you need
That I'm finding myself,
When really, I'm getting even more lost
When really, I just need to stand.
Wednesday, 2 March 2011
Two Significant Discoveries
Thursday, 10 February 2011
Oyster Card
I have oyster-card neurosis. For those of you non-Londoners who may jump to the logical conclusion that I have problems related to a card that acquires points when you purchase shelled sea-food, your conclusion is incorrect. The Oyster Card is a nifty piece of plastic that allows you to travel around the capital and its outskirts at a lower rate and with the clever pro that you can simply top it up pay-as-you-go or buy season tickets. I have a student one, gets me a third off season tickets. Happy days. But back to my problem. A problem shared is a problem halved.
I always think I will lose it, like it has a mind of its own and will surreptiously creep away from me as I glance over the Evening Standard, so I take many measures to make sure it can never be lost. I am so very, very paranoid about it that sometimes, I hold the card tightly in my hand, glancing down at it every few minutes just to check it hasn’t morphed into my student ID or another card of some variety. If it is in my pockets I frantically re-assess its whereabouts from time to time along my journey, and when finally get my fingers round it, mind and body in nervous turmoil, all my fears disappear and the world is bright and okay again. I feel a pang of sheer distilled fear when I am nearing my stop on the tube, if the card is not in the first place I look I assume I could have lost it and start a near cavity search. And so sometimes I keep it in my glove (which I like, because when going through barriers or getting on a bus, it makes me feel like I have the Force), that way my hand can always feel the hard, reassuring smoothness of the plastic and I don’t have to have a heart attack every time I move.
So some soul answer this. Why have I, of all people, lost it for the third time this year? Why, as the heavy weight of realization quickly settled in my stomach and the rain smiled as it ruined my suede shoes did it not just appear after my rigorous system of checking my person, so I could be free of the awful sick feeling that had arrived. Why me? After my nerves are already tied in all kinds of knots, why does the world have to hit me hard of the nose with the one thing I spend hours trying to prevent?
Sods Law, Sods Law.
I’ll get over it. I guess I have to be more careful…