Crush

He's just not that into you...or maybe he is.

It's Boxing Day. Well, not really any more, it's 1:59 am, the day after Boxing Day. We're in that limbo bit between Xmas and New Year where no-one really knows quite what's going on or who they are. Probably something to do with all that stuffing and gravy and Turkey and....yeah, anyway. As I am also in this odd limbo between Jesus' birthday celebrations and the pointless New Years Resolutions, I thought I might as well wrench a few words from myself about something I have always known deep down. And so have you.

Do not listen to books that tell you how love and life work. Don't do it. It got me nowhere. It got you nowhere in the long run. We have just as much confusion and 'orribleness as we did before, we just think we don't. It just makes you think that every life and love situation can be inserted into a formula, and a neat and tidy answer will be shinily waiting for you to apply and fix it. Well, it doesn't work like that. I've even written stuff (hopefully buried deep under somewhat decent material) that makes me look like a right plonker, making my own rules based on books like He's Just Not That Into You and various other literature in the same vein. Embarrassed Central Station. I apologise.

The problem is, we all want to be in control. We don't want to be hurt. And we want everyone to know we are in control of a given situation, particularly in a relationship. We don't talk about things, we skirt around issues, because if it gets talked about, someone's gonna have to tell the whole truth and perhaps reveal their vulnerability. And it ain't gonna be us. So we apply rules and almost mathematical equations, not just simple guiders, to try to plough through what we think are insurmountable messes. Messes that we cannot possibly just overcome by having a little think or perhaps messes we won't overcome straight away, and we cannot accept that fact.

We've been hurt before, or we haven't, and we can't deal with the prospect of not knowing what the next day/week/month may bring, and it frustrates us. The thing is, we don't know anyway, even with a million and one step-by-step analysing books and informative TV shows. We assume we do, and we assume that Mrs. PhD Dmin MA Blah Blahs knows every minute detail of everyone's life in the whole wide world and can fit it all into her big big template, churn a few cogs and a nice tidy outcome is what we all gon get.

Sound's a tad silly now, doesn't it.

How about this:

Take the time to know people. I mean really know them. A book can't tell you about your friend of 15 years, your child, your mother, or anyone you've taken the time out to get to know properly any more than a doctor can tell you what's wrong without giving you the once over.

Don't worry when you're not in control of people, or when you don't have the power/upper hand over people. Who cares if they think you like them too much. Either you do or you don't. If you do, ah well, sussed. Worse things happen at sea. If you don't, well you don't, who cares what they think, you know what the deal is. They can get over themselves, and their massive head. Even when you think you're in control of things, it's usually an illusion induced by all the tosh you read or have been told. And even if it's not, a big gust of wind can come and change all that lovely controlledness. So just go with the flow.

If you can laugh at yourself, you can keep laughing through most stuff that comes your way.

Sure these books and films and magazines etc are right sometimes, and maybe a lot of the time, but then again, if you think about it, so are you. You just have to use that noggin, or your trusty gut, whichever you deem best.

Annoyingly, it seems as if I am making my own little rule list thing here. Precisely what I'm writing against. But you know what I mean. You don't have to listen to me. But you know I'm right :).

Seasons Greetings by the way. If you have toiled and read this far, you have the benefit of knowing that I love you collectively. Have a good limbo time until New Years, by which time I hope I have something fitting to write up on this thing.

Don't drink and drive, always wear good underwear you never know what detour that 86 bus might take.

xxx

I LOOK NICE TODAY

There it is. One of those sentences you will never hear a Brit say. I mean, it's rude right? Let someone else blow your trumpet and all that. Okay, fair enough, it's probably not cool to walk around proclaim this randomly and frequently, because that may be a little odd, but lets assume someone has payed you a compliment. Here's how it usually goes:

Friend/Person: Oh, you look really nice today

You: Yeah but, my hair is a mess

OR

Friend/Person: Oh, you look really nice today

You: (Sheepish smile) Oh, thanks

OR

Friend/Person: Oh, you look really nice today

You: No I don't HAHAHAHHAHA

Admittedly, the second one isn't too bad. The other two suck, and I know I'm a culprit sometimes. Because it's embarassing right? Even if you have spent quite a while that morning making yourself look fabulous, or if you glanced in the mirror and thought that this is actually a good day for you, how do you acknowledge it without looking like you have a head the size of a whale? It's a little uncomfortable.

Well, next time you receive a compliment ( you too Almaz) that you think is deserved, don't hide behind a sheepish smile. Say thank you with all the quiet confidence you can muster...you're beautiful today.

In fact, do me a favour, I'll do it too. Even though I genuinely genuinely genuinely look a mess as I've just woken up. Lean out the window and shout to the world 'I LOOK FABULOUS TODAY BECAUSE I AM (strong word here optional) FABULOUS'. Can you do that for me? Shrug off your very british politeness, and go a bit, God forbid, USA on the world for a couple seconds. Whether you think you are fearfully and wonderfully made, or you just look kind alright today, go for it. 1, 2, 3...GO

I just did it. Literally. Admittedly, it was out to the garden, but I still did it! Admittedly, I dropped down on my bed exceptionally quickly, but I still did it! And I know most of you won't, but it's a nice thought to do it, especially if you took a while to get ready this morning...whisper it if anything. And if and when you get compliment today, or ever, you'll remember this moment and feel all warm.

Oh you beautiful, beautiful people.

xx

Life Is Good

It's funny what music can do...namely Jason Mraz, plus his blog. I feel free today. I'm going to get up and drink a glass of water, or 3. I'm listening to the new beautiful Jason Mraz EP. I have a smile bigger than a really big thing going on. I'm going to eat things that are good for me. I'm going to sing some songs and write a bit just for me. I'm gonna do really small, nice things for people that mean something big for them. I just found my Uni card which I thought I lost. I'm meeting really awesome people at the moment. I'm catching up with really awesome people at the moment. So cheesily happy this morning, and the sun just peeped out. Deal Breaker. I might even sign up for Salsa or something, maybe. Oh Life is Good.

Thanks Jase. xxxxxx

Read All About It

I'd like to put something to you today.

If no-one watched the news, listened to the radio or read the newspaper/glossies, (particularly the red-tops) or aimlessly surfed the web and social networking sites, we'd be much less afraid of life. You wouldn't think every single man over a certain age was a perv/pedo, they wouldn't be afraid of being branded one. You wouldn't be afraid of killer foxes jumping on your children while they sleep, you wouldn't think that immigration is the biggest problem in the UK at the moment. Hell, you might even think it was your's and my individual general selfishness or something out there like that. Sure, there's problems. But the hysterical mob mentality wouldn't exist, and the whipping up of bad blood wouldn't occur so frequently.

Maybe you wouldn't think you had to be a certain shape to be beautiful, whether you're getting pummelled with indications that you need to lose weight, or that you need to be curvy. You'd make an informed decision for yourself if you wanted to change your body, whether it be be with vigorous movement and what you put in your tummy, or with a scalpel a syringe and a general anaesthetic, not a decision based on shiny pictures of airbrushed people who are really just like me and you.

Maybe we'd actually try and find things out about different cultures and countries instead of being fattened on excellently made programmes, spoon-feeding us the angle or slant that the producers had, whatever angle that may be. Why don't we work out our own stance before drinking in someone else's research, jumping on the back of their ideas without knowing enough to truly have our own informed opinion?

Maybe we'd read stuff, like really read stuff, and we'd value knowledge so much more because we'd worked for it, we'd cultivated our brains with it, and it'd stick, not fade with the next wikipedia page.

Maybe we'd talk to people. Audibly. So we can see the light reflected in their eyes and the pores in their skin. Perhaps the world would get a bit quieter if the tap tap tap of the keyboards stopped.

And I'm saying this while at a computer, with the radio on, with Twitter and Facebook running in the background, and I'm aware of the numerous benefits of the media. I'm also aware I am at the risk of sounding like a museli munching, sandal wearing do-gooder complaining in a clichéd way about the Big Bad Media perhaps superficially...but just think about it. Sometimes, take it all off and think with your mind, not with what's forcing it's way in there every day. Imagine the possibilties. Oh wait, you can't, they're endless.

Charidy

There you are walking down the road and you see the flash of a luminous colour of some kind, and you know it's time to cross the road. Or time to put on your I-am-very-important-and-am-doing-very-important-things persona. You're suddenly late and your pace picks up to a pace that would shame road runner. Because we both know what a luminous colour coupled with a Cheshire cat smile means don't we? Fundraisers. Smiley, in-your-face, annoying fundraisers.

If I were to ask the general public of the British Isles what the number one annoyance is on a shopping trip to central wherever, I could hazard a guess at charity fundraisers. Or maybe a close second behind those soul-shredding parking rules.

Why are they talking to you? Why are they disturbing your day? Why don't they get a PROPER JOB? Do they not realise you already give to your own chosen charities? Why is this bucket in your way? Why is this clipboard blocking my way to Superdrug?!?! They're just students wanting an extra buck from the commission. They're just weed-smoking, dreadlock-wielding, baggy-trousered tree-huggers. Life would be so much easier without them.

But then again, a lot of stuff and people would die without them.

Allow that.

Not blogged for a while. Not even during the Election. Communication fail, and I take full responsibility my loves. I generally was in an 'allow that' mentality...

Which brings me to the point. Today, this blog is just an extension of my already extensive thoughts. Imagine if, in many famous instances of world and solar-system events, someone had just said 'ALLOW' or 'ALLOW THAT'. For those not familiar with a bit of 21st century UK pseudo-gangster slang, this means that the said person who uttered this phrase decided that they couldn't be bothered or refused to do a certain task. As opposed to the traditional meaning of 'to allow' as in letting something happen. Still don't get it? Urban Dictionary definition. Now think of you favourite(or most hated) famous figures, and now imagine them saying 'allow that' while they are on the cusp of a world-changing event....

Here's some I made earlier.

1. Imagine if Power Rangers had said 'Allow that'

2. Imagine if Frodo had said 'Allow that bruv I gotta pick some carrots in the shire'

3. Imagine if Romeo was just like 'Allow Juliet innit'

4. Imagine if Obi-Wan decided to allow it and become a bartender

5. Imagine if Hitler was just like 'you know what, allow this'

6. Imagine if Doctor Who decided that his extensive time travel needed to be allowed

7. Imagine if Bella allowed Edward

8.Imagine if Michael Jackson ran away to the circus, therefore 'allowing' his budding music career.

9. Imagine if Martin Luther King 'llowed it.

10. Imagine if The Devil decided that waging his war against The Good needed to be allowed

11. Imagine if Steve Jobs was just like 'Nahhhh allow this, I'ma make doorknobs'

12. Imagine if Obama decided he was gonna shoot some hoops and allow the whole politics lark.

13. Imagine if Osama Bin Laden allowed it and became a docile sheep herder instead

14. Imagine if Superman made the decision to allow. Jeeeeez.

15. Imagine...if John Lennon allowed Imagining

etc etc etc etc etc

I could go on and on and on...but I have to revise. I think we can learn 1 thing from this relatively pointless blog. If you wanna do something good...don't allow...if you wanna do something bad...ALLOW IT.