Monday, 12 December 2011


This was written in September last year. It's more true now, so I'm posting it again.

I want to stand.

To replace reaction with action

To move without trigger, my fuse already lit

I want to stop knowing things

And start knowing something

My present likes the drifting

But my future creaks and rots

I want to stand

I want to make absurd, ridiculous promises

And keep them

And make you amazing, like I should be

I want to feel what you feel

And take up arms for it

Your Protector

I want to stand

I want to tell you I'm worth more than what you see

I want to tell myself I'm worth more than what I see

I want to tell you you're worth more than what I see

I want to know most things have more value than I could ever imagine

Stop sampling imitations of real things

And eat them whole

And then lick the sugar off my lips

And then bake them in my oven

And give them away, anonymously

In little scarlet parcels

I want to dance on the wind, not drift on the breeze

Be amazing enough that you want all of me

Be beautiful enough that I want all of you

But what I want and what I do are so separate

That all I can do is sit down

And think about how separate they are

And so I'm sitting on my dreams, carried by the ebb and flow of familiarity

Thinking the aimless wandering is who I am, what I need, what you need

That I'm finding myself,

When really, I'm getting even more lost

When really, I just need to stand.